So natural it's supernatural

I recently heard a story about a woman named Bonnie Blodgett who lost her sense of smell after treating a cold with zinc based nasal spray. As a columnist on gardening, this was a huge blow to Blodgett’s life. She couldn’t smell her favorite lilacs anymore, or taste her home grown creations. What struck me the most in her interview with NPR was that she never realized how much her sense of smell affected everything in her life. Smell is something so normal that we never even think about how it affects our connection to life. It is so natural that we may never even notice its existence unless we are in the presence of a fresh baked batch of chocolate chip cookies or approaching the smoke house attached to the best barbeque rib joint in town. This is what Ms. Blodgett had to say about the experience:

“"I had no way of knowing before what it would be like to not smell anything," she says. "When I woke up and sniffed and there was nothing there — I don't know how to explain it — I felt completely disconnected. I truly felt as if colors were more flat. The voices in conversation felt like a TV soundtrack to me. Smell is tied into the other sensory systems and into the emotions," she says, "and, in a way, that causes everything to be kind of thrown out of whack when you lose it."

At the same time I heard this story, I had decided to return to C.S. Lewis’s book Miracles. One of my favorite things about C.S. Lewis is the form in which he approaches his explanation of the parts of faith that are very hard to grasp. Before entering the nitty gritty, he takes the most basic piece of the issue and make sure you believe that first. He understands that without this basic piece, the rest of the book will be meaningless blabber to the reader. In Miracles, the basic concept that readers must adhere to is that there is the existence of supernatural occurrences. Someone who is a naturalist, or does not believe in the supernatural, believes that every single event is a part of the “total system” and can be explained scientifically. C.S. Lewis says that naturalists have simply become unaware of the supernatural nature of all things around them. They have forgotten that the act of their own thinking about Nature falls outside of the necessities of the “total system.” Because the supernatural is so common, like the sense of smell, they are able to ignore its existence. They forget that the very ability to reason, or make moral judgments, does not fit in to the system. Lewis likens the idea to a person looking at their garden, and becoming completely unaware that they are looking through a window. Forgetting the window must come from some degree of absentmindedness. It is not necessary to constantly think about the window when looking at the garden, but to understand all of your surroundings, and make logical conclusion about your existence you must acknowledge the window as a piece of your reality.

Although naturalist have become so far removed from the idea of the supernatural that they do not believe it exists, we all fall short of noticing the supernatural in our everyday lives. I think of the supernatural as God’s gift that connects us to His creation. When I heard the words of Ms. Blodgett it became so apparent that God created our senses to work together in connecting us with the world He created for us. Most of us don’t know what it is like to lose, or never have, one of our senses. We take for granted the smells, sights, feelings, tastes and sounds that allow us to fully interact in the most mundane day to the most exciting experiences of our lives. Not only that, we completely miss the multitude of supernatural ways God is working in our lives to connect us to one another and show His love for all creation. When we realize that the supernatural is not something you have to go on a journey to find or wait around for in a time of pain, but it is an ever present reality that constantly goes unnoticed, we can truly understand why God could say with confidence that if you seek Him you will find Him.

I believe I can say with confidence that people in the United States are the worst at taking things for granted. The natural habit of complaining about everything has lead us to an inability to step back and remember how privileged we are. For anyone who doesn’t know, Katie and I are expecting out first child. As I sit in my comfortable house looking out the window at the brand new elementary school across the street, I can imagine our son or daughter strapping their back pack on and carrying their lunch box filled with nutritious foods over to the school to be taught by well trained teachers who, for the most part, care about my child’s success in life. A home to live in, a guaranteed education, food to eat, and a path to a successful life is something that we all want for our children and is something that most, if not all, of you reading this can expect. That is not the case throughout most of the world, and even for many in our own country. It should be so easy for us to see the supernatural in this country, it should be so easy for us to sense God’s presence in our lives, when we seek Him it should not take us very much effort to find Him.

With that said, Katie and I are once again on a mission to share some of the gifts God has given us with the less fortunate. It is marathon season again, and we are back on the trails. No, Katie isn’t running the marathon with a baby on board, but she is still my motivation and the heart of the team!

This year we are fundraising along with a marathon training team from our church, Orchard Hill, called Iowans for Africa. The team is supporting a community in the Gorongosa region of Mozambique, Africa where the children do not have the guaranteed privileges that our child will have in this country. However, through your support, we can provide the children with an amazing opportunity for their future: A school building with a full time teacher! At this point, the children have school under a tree while sitting on dirt under a scorching sun (see photo). Rainy season causes school to be canceled often, and without a building the government refuses to provide a teacher. Our team has a goal of raising $110,000, which is enough to build a school in Mozambique and provide shelter and education to the children of that community.

I won’t lie, 26.2 miles of running is not fun, but being able to share the love of God by using the gifts he has given me is priceless. Katie and I would greatly appreciate you support again this year through your pledge of $1 a mile. However, since those last 6.2 are so stinking painful we will just round it up to $30. $30 from 100 of our family and friends will be such an amazing gift to the children of Gorngosa. We take so many things for granted here in the States, but a school to those children will be a light of God in the middle of darkness.

You can donate securely online at http://www.firstgiving.com/jordanvernoy or mail check made out to “Orchard Hill Church” to:

The Vernoy’s

2504 Rainbow Drive

Cedar Falls, IA 50613

Thank you so much for your continued prayers, love and support!

As Father's Day Approaches

This past Sunday, I was asked to give the message at a small farm church in Waterloo called Mount Hope United Methodist Church. It was a great experience, as it reminded me of my grandfather who often was asked to do the same during his preaching days. The following is what I talked about with my new friends. Much of it comes from ideas learned in the Emerging Journey’s course Katie and I took at Orchard Hill, and the book Knowing God by J.I. Packer.

As we are coming up on Father’s Day, I wanted to talk with you all about our relationship to God as our father. Father’s day has a special significance to me, because 2 years ago, July 31st, my father unexpectedly passed away. The relationship and experiences I shared with my father greatly affected the way I relate with God as my heavenly father, just as the way everyone relates with their own father, or parental figure, affects the way they relate with God as well. In some ways, and in some circumstances, these earthly relationships strengthen our ability to understand and relate with God, and in other ways and in other circumstances, these earthly relationships greatly hinder our ability to have the relationship that God wants to have with us.

I want to back up a bit, and ensure that we are all on the same page of understanding the adoption process that God has gone through to ensure our place in His family as his true sons and daughters. Galatians 4:4 says, “But when the time had fully come, God sent His Son, born of a woman, born under law, that we might receive the full rights of sons.” In Roman law it was a recognized practice for an adult who wanted an heir to carry on the family name to adopt a full grown man as a son. This is a lot different than the common infant adoption of today, but the apostles saw Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross as a way for them to be purified and able to be adopted by God. This same adoption is the offer that is given to everyone who places their faith in Jesus. When we can really begin to realize that God is our adoptive Father, we then can begin to understand Him, and the relationship He wants to have with us, in a very tangible way.

We have all had different experiences with our earthly father’s, or parental figures. Some good, some bad, some loving, some hateful, some present, and some virtually or literally non-existent. My father was a cold, quiet and angry man for the majority of his life. I had trouble relating with him on any level, because I was afraid anything out of my mouth would not be worth his time. However, no matter how much I resented him, there were two things that I always wanted: to know about him, and to make him proud. I think that is pretty common. We want to know our family history, and that starts with our parents. We want to know their passions, the story of how they met our moms, what they did when they were our age. We want to know what makes them who they are. We also want to make them proud. We want to know that they are happy we are their kids. We want them to see the best in us. I think that if we can have those same two desires in our relationship with our heavenly father, we will be on the track to a truly amazing relationship with our savior.

First off, we need the desire to know our Father. I don’t know about you, but my biological father was a complex man. The last few years of his life threw everyone for a loop, as he became a practicing Christian and actually started smiling, crying and liking people. But, even before that, I could never figure out really who he was or why he acted the way he did. One thing that made him a little different than most dads was he was obsessed with instruction manuals. This is pretty counter intuitive to the normal manly concept of, “Who needs directions?” When he brought home my first car, he made me read the instruction manual from cover to cover, and then gave me a test on the material before I could drive the car. He not only made me pass the test, but get 100% of the answers correct before I could touch the keys. What I really wish was that he would have written and instruction manual on how to interact with him. You may already see where I am going with this, but our heavenly Father gave us an instruction manual. He gave us His Word, the Bible. It tells us His history, it gives us insight into why He does some of the things He does, it gives us a firm knowledge of His love without having to wait for an awkward hug at your high school graduation or your wedding day. So, if we realize that God has adopted us into His family, and we want to know about our Father, than lets read the instruction manual. Let’s read His word. Let’s make time to get into the Bible and find out all we can about our Father.

Now don’t get me wrong, I understand that the bible is deep and often times very hard to comprehend. It has many layers and intricacies that know lay person, pastor or theologian will every fully understand. However, we have been provided with an opportunity to see into the heart of our Father, and it is our responsibility, as His children, to take Him up on the offer.  Also, the bible is the main source of our knowledge of God, but it is definitely not the only source. One thing the Bible tells us that God created everything. He is omniscient, omnipotent, ever present and timeless. Once again, the verse Jeremiah 29:13 comes to mind that says “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” The key point for this message is that if you seek you will find. There are no boundaries of where to seek, only the call to seek. The promise is that no matter where you look, if you are looking for your Father, you will find Him. As you know if you commonly read this blog, I could write forever just about that idea, but I better move on for now.  

I believe it is an inherent instinct to want to make your father proud. I know that no matter how much I disliked my father’s actions or words towards me, I still wanted to make him proud.  Back to that first car. I remember one night sitting at the dinner table and my dad began to tell me how proud he was that I had been driving the car for a little over a year and had done no damage to it. This was pretty spectacular since it seemed pretty much any gift given to my brother or me was broken within the first couple of months. What he didn’t know, or maybe he did knowing my father, was that the night before I had been trick-or-treating for cans for a high school food drive and brushed up against a post in a person’s drive way with the side view mirror on the car. It left some scrapes that were really no big deal, but my heart sunk to my stomach when I knew I had to squash his prideful thoughts of me.  After I told him, he said that it wasn’t a big deal and he was just happy I was honest.

 A lot of my friends throughout the years have had a tough time reconciling James’s words in the second chapter of his book that, “faith without works is dead.” I think that we have a tendency to take this verse out context and assume that James is saying that if you aren’t putting enough money in the plate, or you aren’t volunteering every spare moment at the food bank, you might not make it to heaven. Well, if we really believe that we have become adopted children of God when we put our faith in his Son, this just cannot be the case. I believe that when James talks about faith, he is talking in some ways about our relationship to our heavenly Father. Let’s look at my first car as our faith, or our relationship with our heavenly Father. The scrape on the side mirror is an act of disobedience. This could be a sinful action or an omission of a good deed when the opportunity was made available. By going to my father quickly and telling him about the scratch, he is able to comfort me and fix the damage. Now, if I am constantly ignoring the commands of God, I am outwardly living in sinful nature, and I am constantly ignoring opportunities to feed the hungry, help the sick or provide comfort to the widow, it is like taking a sledge hammer to my car. The windshield is broke, the tires are flattened, and the bumper is torn off. It is a lot harder to go look your father in the eye at that point and ask him to fix the car. The relationship has been damaged, your faith has been damaged, and now there is this awkward space between us and our heavenly Father.

Those situations when we feel like we have messed up beyond repair are when our relationships with our earthly parents can really get in the way of what God desires us to know about our relationship with Him. We may fear that God, like some earthly parents, won’t fix the car, they won’t forgive us, maybe what we have done is so damaging that they kick us out of the house, remove us from the family, sever our relationship and retract their love. The amazing thing is that is not how our heavenly Father works. Once we are His children there is nothing we can do that will take away His love. There is now damage that is beyond repair. We have an eternity warranty on our relationship with God. He will always be there with His arms spread open, running towards us like the father to the prodigal son. However, what James wants us to know is that we have an opportunity and a responsibility to have a close and gratifying relationship with our heavenly Father by making him proud. To figure out how to make Him proud, we just turn to one of the hundreds of pages in His instruction manual that tells us how. My favorite is when Jesus is asked what the greatest commandment is.  He responds with an answer of how we can make our Father proud, and strengthen our relationship with Him. Mark 12:30-31 says, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these.”

So, with Father’s day quickly approaching, remember that you have a Father that loves you beyond any love we can ever comprehend. Then out of respect and  honor of that love, begin to get to know Him more by reading His word and make Him proud by honoring His commandments through loving Him and loving your neighbor. The relationship, and eternity of forgiveness, that is offered in return will be well worth every second spent worshiping your Father. 

Quick Rant

***I have amended this post to hopefully remove any personal shots at the radio station or DJs. Using negative comments about fellow Christians as a base for my writing is not a path I want to begin, and is completely unnecessary in sharing my beliefs. I apologize to any staff or listeners of the organization that were offended.***

I wouldn't normally post anything so quickly after a previous post, but I heard something this morning that I just have to write a quick rant about.

I was listening to my local Christian radio station on my way to the River Bend Food Bank this morning, and they were talking about  as an abundance of media coverage of "natural disasters" lately.

One of the morning DJs was feeling anxious about the number of natural disasters that have occurred lately, and was asking callers to help her with her anxiety. I believe this topic to be an extremely worthwhile discussion to have, and is a constant conversation in many Christian circles. However, the comments from callers were driving me up the wall. One man called in and literally said when he hears about earthquakes, sink holes and floods that kill massive amounts of people he gets happy and excited because he knows the rapture is coming! I think there are a couple of HUGE issues with this comment, and others that were said on the show.

1. Natural disasters occur all of the time, and it does not mean the rapture is going to happen in our lifetime. I completely agree with the callers in there equating the disease of sin to the gradual decline of the earth. However, somewhere the callers missed a couple of important facts about God and his timing. First of all, I am not talking in Pat Robertson terms that the direct action of a specific group of individuals causes an earthquake in their community, but in terms of the overall sin of every human being having an effect on the earth since the first bite from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. However, remember that God has said his return will be like a thief in the night. Mathew 24:42-44 says, "Therefore keep watch, because you do not know on what day your Lord will come. But understand this: If the owner of the house had known at what time of night the thief was coming, he would have kept watch and would not have let his house be broken into. So you also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him." So, if he is coming like a thief in the night, do you think He is going to give a bunch of blatantly obvious warning signals before he shows up? Is a thief going to sit in your drive way and lay on the horn a few times before he busts down your door?

2. "So you also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him." If Jesus did happen to show up right after a natural disaster, do you think He would be happy if He found you reclined in front of a television grinning at the despair of Haitians who were killed in masses by a horrific earthquake? Do you think He would commend you for predicting His return, and deciding to just be happy that his children, your brothers and sisters in Him, were starving to death because you knew it meant the end was near? This complete ignorance of our call from God boggles my mind. How Christians can sit back and delight in the pains of others because they see visions of God's return in their moans of agony is absolutely disgusting and sacrilegious.

Stop waiting for God to return from your living room, and start serving the people who God has called you to love. Whether His plan is to return tomorrow or a million years doesn't matter. What matters is what you are doing to show your love for Him and His creation TODAY!

Plans for the Summer

Just so you know, I actually began writing this on May 6th, but once again busyness got in the way. For those of you who don’t know, I have a new job as the State Director of the Iowa Food Bank Association. So far it has been an exciting change, and I look forward to seeing how God can use me to serve those in need in Iowa.


I want to give everyone a glimpse into my plans for this summer. Well, not all of my plans, but the ones that will affect this blog. I always enjoy the summers when I don’t have class, because I can actually read what I want. This year I am deciding what to read through a slightly different method than normal. I have asked two of the teachers at my church, who have had a large influence on my faith journey recently, to share their top 10 favorite books with me. They graciously gave me there list, and there looks to be some great summer reading ahead. I am basically deciding the order of reading by when I get the book. I order some every once in awhile on Amazon, and then number them in the order they come. As I read, I am confident that God will bring to light ideas in my head about Him and His Word that I hope to share with you all. I know that if I seek Him in any book that I read, whether it is C.S. Lewis or Steven King, I will find Him and want to seek Him more.

The first on my list is Knowing God by J.I. Packer. I am over half way in, and it has already challenged me. I can’t say as I agree 100% with every word written, but that is the glory of God’s word. He allows us free will to interpret His word, and I do not think that was a mistake. In our own interpretations come our own opinions, and through discussing these differences in opinions we are forced to strengthen our knowledge in His Word. We get in to trouble when we dismiss others opinions because they are not our own. Instead, we should listen and research other’s opinions. We should find the verses that make these opinions real to them, and really think about how those verses affect our own interpretation of His Word. If something drives you to looking deeper at God’s Word, it cannot be a bad thing. So, if you disagree with me PLEASE share. I would love to look in to your opinion, and be forced to know the Word of God more.

The Basis of Packer’s book is obviously knowing God, and he does a great job at using scripture to share with the reader a comprehensive view of what God shared about Himself in His word. Once we know God, we cannot help but want to know more about Him and desire to be closer to His presence. One of favorite concepts of Packer is what I will term our degree of celebrity status given to God, or how we see ourselves in relationship to God.

It is no secret that the majority of American’s are celebrity crazed. Whether it is actors, musicians, athletes, or politicians, we are obsessed with every part of their lives. There are books, magazines, movies and television show chronicling the lives of these individuals, and millions of dollars are spent just trying to be informed on what celebrity is dating, marrying or divorcing another celebrity. So, imagine a time when you were going to meet a celebrity. For this example, let’s use the current or past President of the United States, depending on which one you would be more excited to meet. You would probably try your hardest to make a big impression, and hope that for some reason this person who you feel is “above” you would take an interest in you. If he decided to only say hello and ask minimal niceties, you may be disappointed but would understand that the President has no responsibility to be your best friend. However, imagine if the President took and instant interest in your knowledge and ideas, and continued from the first meeting to ask you to be available to continue to share ideas in the future. You may feel like your life has made a turn. You would want to tell all of your friends and family of the new friendship you have made with the President, and may feel like you have “arrived.”

If this is how we would feel about coming into a friendship with the President of the United States, how should we react to being asked to come into a relationship with the God of every living thing, the God who can crush all nations with the snap of his finger, the God who created all? 1 Corinthians 3:9 says, “For we are God's fellow workers; you are God's field, God's building.” God has asked us to be his partner. He has asked us to do His work, and to be His co-worker. He doesn’t need to even bother with the niceties because He knows us to the core. However, instead of treating God with the nervous anxiety and constant desire to impress that we would treat a celebrity, we take His desire to be in relationship with us for granted. We want Him to know us from the inside out so that He can answer our prayers and support our desires for life, but we stop short of a reciprocal relationship. We make excuses for why we don’t know Him. We assume that His words are hidden from us because we are confused by certain scripture; we can’t find the time in our busy lives to read His word and search for Him in our lives, or we just think that the creator should be more concerned with His creation than we are concerned with Him.

Jeremiah 9:23-34 says, “This is what the LORD says: “Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom or the strong man boast of his strength or the rich man boast of his riches, but let him who boasts boast about this: that he understands and knows me, that I am the LORD, who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth, for in these I delight,” declares the LORD. “

I know it is hard to believe, but celebrities mean nothing in God’s eyes. Their riches, fame or political power are worthless compared to knowledge of God. The best thing about it is that you don’t have to be in the right place at the right time, go to an Ivy League school or be born in to money to have knowledge of God that is worth more that all the money in the world. The knowledge is offered to everyone who searches. The power of God is available to all of those who ask. God, the most famous entity to ever exist, want you to be His partner, His coworker, His friend, His child. Please don’t take advantage of this offer, please don’t expect everything from Him but offer nothing of yourself, please begin to seek Him. Your knowledge of Him will give you more happiness than any celebrity tabloid I have heard of, I promise.

-P.S. – The running season is here, and the Des Moines Marathon is on my horizon. Be prepared for the next blog to have more details about the amazing opportunity you have to help us build a school in a community in Mozambique, Africa.

The World is our Church

Last time I posted I got a little distracted by the current events of the week, and was taken off course from where I originally wanted to head with the Blood Bank concept. There are so many directions I would like to take, so I think I will come back to it often in the way I came back to Elijah.

When I think about the similarities of human existence, and the story of creation, I see so many contradictions in the way we perceive each other in common society. I also see numerous contradictions in the example of leadership that Jesus taught us, and the way we commonly define a leader today. One of the biggest issues I have been feeling called to write about is the idea that the leadership of Jesus was somehow tied to Him being a man, or maybe better stated, tied to Him not being a woman. We truly miss out on the teaching of Christ when constrain Him to the common understanding of masculinity, and we miss out on a wealth of wisdom when we ignore the voice and leadership of women.

When I was thinking about how people attempt to differentiate ourselves from one another I was struck with the difficult idea of our calling. I would guess that some people feel that the calling of women is different than the calling of men. Well ,do I have a surprising thought for you…that is not the truth. There seems to be a lot of discussion about finding our calling, or our purpose in life, but I have an idea that will clear the whole mess up for you. Just like we are all the same, each of us has the SAME calling. That calling is to learn about the love of Jesus and share it with the world. Easy as that.

I always wanted to be the host of Blue’s Clues. I loved it when Steve would ask questions to an audience that didn’t actually exist , and then act like he heard an answer. So that is what I will do here:

How did we learn about the love of Christ?

Through His death and resurrection.

Who was the first person to learn about His resurrection, and share it with others?

Mary Magdalene

To be a little facetious…what sex was Mary Magdalene?

Female

Who decided that women were no longer worthy of being the champions of the good news that God loves us? Why would they make such a decision?

The answer to the first question is the church, not God. The answer two the second is one I cannot be certain of, but I have some ideas. The idea that brings me the most angst is the idea that Jesus was masculine in nature, so the person at the pulpit should be masculine as well. I am going to list 4 words, two commonly masculine characteristics and two commonly feminine characteristics.

Gentle

Strong

Meek

Bold

Generally, people would probably define gentle and meek as feminine, and bold and strong as masculine. Let’s turn to the Bible to see how Paul describes Jesus. 2 Corinthians 10:1, “By the meekness and gentleness of Christ, I appeal to you.” We have a meek, gentle and feminine Savior. If you have heard it preached that Jesus was not meek or gentle, you are among peers, but you should know it is a lie. Now, of course , Jesus was all powerful and came at some situations with great boldness, but that is not at all surprising when we remember that Jesus is God incarnate. If Jesus is God, then it would serve to reason that He too embodies both the male and female attributes of God.

So, again, why have we told women that they are not allowed to pursue the calling of every follower of Christ? I guess the only other answer is sin.

Romans 8:2 says that “through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death.” The old law has gone, and now the Church, with Satan’s nudge, feels the need to make new laws to suppress the word of God from entering freely into the world. I refuse to allow the Church, or Satan, to put knew shackles on my wrist and ankles. I refuse to allow the Church, or Satan, to guide my faith with manmade rules and regulations that are not in line with the life and teachings of Christ. I refuse to let the Church, or Satan, continue to suppress the voice of any believer of God’s love. Sin has infiltrated the Church by creating new laws to suppress the word of God from entering the world, and I refuse to comply.

Women of God, I have hope for your ministry: Just as laws are manmade so is the pulpit. Jesus didn’t spend a majority of his time behind a pulpit; He spent it out in the world. He wasn’t a member of a particular church, and He wasn’t constrained by any denominational rules. These restraints are all manmade, and sometimes do as much harm as good to the people of the Church. We are all the same in God’s eyes. He has given us all the same calling, to share His love, and the world is our Church.

My desire for my readers is for you to also refuse to let manmade rules to guide your faith. Focus on Christ, and refuse to be shackled to the law of sin. You have been set free and your calling is clear. We are all the same, and we all have the same right to learn about God’s love and share it with the world. Follow that calling, no matter what the Church, or Satan, tells you.

Quick Note

I started a blog a couple of weeks ago, but just have had no time to finish. So, in lieu of a full post for now, I have a quick note on a thought that came up in my head yesterday.

It is not a secret that capitalism propagates poverty. Therefore, it is the responsibility of those who benefit from capitalism to support the impoverished. Of course, there will be those who take advantage of the social service system, just as there are those who take advantage of the capitalist system; those individuals who focus on their own personal gain while ignoring, or disregarding, the effect it has on their fellow man and woman. However, our call is not changed by the actions of others. We are not called to judge why someone is hungry before we feed them, why someone is ill before we care for them, or why someone is poor before we help them make ends meet. When we begin to discuss the reason why someone is in the position they are, we begin to step on Gods toes. We are a part of this world, but we are not of this world. We have freedom to choose, but we do not have freedom to change the commands of God depending on how we feel about the choices others have made. Please, do not judge God’s people before you love them. God says to love others like He loves us. If He were to love us like we love the poor in our country, Hell would be a vacation from this life.

The Politics of Love

This weekend I was listening to the song Blood Bank by one of my favorite artists, Bon Iver, and thought, "Wow, I have to write a blog about that!" The part of the song the inspired me is the first verse that reads:

Well I met you at the blood bank
We were looking at the bags
Wondering if any of the colors
Matched any of the names we knew on the tags


You said see look it that's yours
Stacked on top with your brothers
See how they resemble one another?
Even in their plastic little covers


And I said I know it well

Do we all know it well? And if we do, do we understand its implications? I am not sure, but I am willing to share the thoughts that were stirred up in me by these provoking lyrics.

First of all, let’s not get hung up on the weirdness of two people meeting at a blood bank. I see it as a story telling tool used by the artist to get him in a position to talk about a profound observation. So, this blog is not about how to pick up girls, or guys, while also supporting your local blood bank. It is about the often disputed, yet always true, fact that at our most basic level of existence we are all the same.

As the couple looks at the bags of blood stacked on top of each other at the blood bank, they realize that only by reading the names would they be able to distinguish their difference. Through their plastic covers, they look so alike, that any difference in race, ethnicity, sex, religion, political stance, sexual orientation, or any other label that we place on one another, is completely indistinguishable. The same blood flows through our veins, and is one of the cornerstones of our existence. At our most basic level of existence, we are all the same.

So, what does this mean for people of faith? Some of its meaning is common sense things that we all like to talk about, but often times have trouble with the follow-through. Some of its meaning is controversial, even though we know in our hearts it is what God commands of us, our pride, stubbornness or being fooled by false teachings gets in the way. Some of its meaning is a call to action, and those who are willing to answer the call will be blessed by the promises of God.

Even if you believe in the theory of evolution, the common denominator is that all humans are descendants of the original human. It is just common sense that it had to start somewhere. For most believers, we understand that we are all descendants from Adam and Eve of Genesis. We can get hung up on their names, or how they were created, or who was fooled by the Satan possessed serpent, but those things are not relevant in our understanding that we come from the same mold. The understanding of good and evil, and the existence of free will, leads us all down different paths, but we all start with the same blank slate. We all start with the blood of our parents, grandparents, great grandparents, all the way back to the original man and women.

If this seems logical, then why is it so much easier to find the differences between each other than it is to find common ground? Why does hatred and violence seem like the right answer rather than love, compassion and understanding? We see this contrast of understanding and actions in all areas of our life. Whether it is having love for family members who you have no idea how you could be related to, having an open mind to someone whose understanding of their faith might be a little different than yours, or having love for someone who has a completely different set of values than you, it is so hard for us to remember that at our most basic level of existence we are all the same.

There are a lot of directions I wanted to go with how this idea relates to the Church, but based on the happenings of the last few days I feel there is one thing I must address, and the rest can be in another blog. It seems that we have completely lost sight of what it means to love one another the way God loves us in this country. There are hundreds of verses about love, but as I was researching for this post, a section from 1 Peter 3:8-12 really struck me:

Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. For,


"Whoever would love life
and see good days
must keep his tongue from evil
and his lips from deceitful speech.
He must turn from evil and do good;
he must seek peace and pursue it.
For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous
and his ears are attentive to their prayer,
but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil."

The last couple of days, as I have read the news and seen the comments of people on Facebook, I have been appalled at the anger and hatred that has infiltrated our society. The most disheartening aspect, for me, is that the majority of this hatred is coming from individuals who would claim to be Christians. This isn't the beginning of this horrible separation of the Church and the love that God commands us to share with the world; it is only the most recent chapter. Throughout history Christians have been known to spur on hatred. In studying the Holocaust while in Poland, we were taught how the Catholic church preached anti-Semitism from the alter, and in the 21st century we have churches hell-bent on ruining the lives of homosexuals at whatever the cost to their families and communities. Now, we have politicians, whose books are sold in the Family Christian Book Store, posting maps with gun sights on the home states of politicians who voted for the health care reform bill, while others are making death threats, busting in windows and endangering the families of individuals because they disagree with their politics.

When did we give up harmony for discord? When did we decide not only to repay evil with evil, but be the people creating the space for evil to take hold? When did we forget that underneath our plastic little covers we are all the same? We are all loved by God and called to share that same love with each other. If the Church does not set this example, then who will? If no one sets this example, what’s next?

Please love one another! Jesus did not shed his blood to teach us a lesson of hate. Jesus died to show us what true love is, and He calls us to love one another as He loved us. It isn’t too late to decide to love.

"Is this a sales pitch?"

The following is a post I wrote in July of 2008. As the waters begin to rise again, it reminded me of this post, so I thought I would repost it on my new blog. Hope you enjoy!

“Is this a sales pitch?”

The reply was a stunned pause and a forceful, “No!”, but in reality it was. Was there any money needing to be exchanged? No, but there are costs; the cost of giving up control in a situation when many feel like they already have none.

The question was posed at a disaster relief meeting in Parkersburg, Iowa where an F-5 tornado ripped through the town, destroying homes and taking lives. It was asked to a group of good hearted people trying to help the community recover from its collapse.

Besides FEMA and the Red Cross, faith based organizations make up the majority, if not all, of the organizations that enter communities after disasters. They offer a myriad of helping services that in some ways overlap, but they all work together. At the table that day in Parkersburg there were four faith based organizations eager for the community to ask them for their services. The Lutherans, the Methodists, the Reform Church of America and Church World Services were all present. A virtual smorgasbord of service were presented, which all sound great, and all claim to be free.

However, as I said before, the cost is giving up control. Rural communities stick together. The community members at that table wanted to help their fellow men and women. They want to be the ones finding the needs and meeting them, but the fact is that they have the needs themselves and are underequipped to meet the needs of others. So, they give up control, reluctantly.

The interesting thing about the comment of, “is this a sales pitch?” to me was that I had heard something very familiar before. It took me back to the first day a newly created Young Life team and I entered the West High School cafeteria. We were prepared with fliers about club, information about camp at Crooked Creek in Colorado that summer, and a general excitement about meeting kids. After five minutes of talking with a group of kids at a table one kid stopped me and said, “what are you selling?” See, young people are in a similar position as those affected by a disaster. They have little to no control over their lives, and they are constantly on the lookout for the next person that wants to take advantage of them. They know that something is not right, but they have no idea where to turn. They are grasping for truth, but coming up empty handed.

When these thoughts were entering my head it brought me back to a very dark spot that I had covered up for a long time. It reminded me of my trip to Auschwitz, the Nazi concentration camp in Poland where possibly millions of Jews were killed by means of gas chambers. As a college student I studied the Holocaust in Poland, and we concluded our studies with a trip to Auschwitz. It was a day that will forever shape my life. The entire tour was a heart wrenching experience for me. My hands and knees shook, I could not stop sweating, and tears pooled in my eyes and ran down my face continuously. I could feel the presence of evil in that place. Towards the end of the tour I approached what looked like a concrete shed sunk in to the ground. I knew what it was at first glance, but I tried not to think about it. I wanted to experience it, and if I thought too much I would have fled. As I walked down the couple of rotting steps into the dark, cold, musky room my legs almost fell out from under me. I went to find support on a wall but instead found images that haunt me. The claw marks of innocent Jews trying to escape something that they knew was wrong, but had no idea where to turn for truth. Lies were all they were told, there was no hope for future once they entered that chamber. Water would not come from the shower heads above them. Even as I write this now my chest tightens, and I feel the darkness that was so present there.

People need to have hope to let go of the reigns. They need to have faith that, because of their loss of control, they will find comfort. I was asked by a leader of another faith based organization why I want to help people. My answer was that I have seen the darkness in the world and it tried to drown out all of the light. I had to search long and hard to find a flicker of light to start the fire in my heart again. I want to make it easier for others to find light in this world that seems pitch black so often. I believe that is what faith based organizations are trying to do in our communities that are ravaged by disaster, and I know it is what we, as Young Life leaders, were trying to do at West High School.

Only when we have faith that something is bigger than us; that we are out of control in the first place; that we can have hope that there is a plan for our lives; can we truly begin to recover. Whether that recovery is from a natural disaster or from natural sin, we must give up control to faith. We must give up ourselves, everything we have, to God in order to give others hope that love can shine through the darkest shroud of fog that tries to envelope this world.

Philippians 3:7-11

“But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ – the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. I want to know Christ and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his suffering, becoming like Him in His death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead.”

"B" Team All-Stars!

I am not a competitive person. I would rather win than lose of course, but if winning is not in the cards you will not see me getting angry, frustrated or disappointed at my teammates. I am not someone who is motivated by others screaming demeaning words at me, which seems to be a prerequisite of an athlete. I usually avoid game night, as to not be a privy to the dark side of my friends creeping out in the heat of an oh so important game of Catch Phrase. As a young person, my pattern was one of going out for sports, and quitting at the first sign of my coach taking it way to seriously in my eyes. I remember, in 6th or 7th grade, deciding to try out football. My parents paid the fees to the league, bought me all the pads, jerseys and shoes, and sent me off to the first practice. Soon after, the coach started taking it to seriously. I don’t remember what the coach was yelling at me about. Maybe I wasn’t running fast enough, or wasn’t picking up on a play. Whatever it was, I did not think it negated yelling. So, I took of my helmet, turned to the coach and said, “I don’t need this,” and never played organized football again.


During my 8th grade year, I had a different experience with competitive sports. I decided to give it a shot again, and went out for basketball. I made the “B” team. A normal kid may have been upset about being on the “B” team, but I actually thought it may be the perfect place for me. Maybe, since it was the “B” team, people wouldn’t be so crazy competitive. To my delight, this was the case. The coach was a bit of a “B” teamer himself. He was a shorter guy who had a limp from an injury as a child, and a wandering lazy eye. He had a compassionate disposition, and embraced the idea of having a team that was just there to have fun, even if they were horrible at basketball. He related with us on a level we did not really understand, but looking back, the image of his support of the “B” team is something I will never forget. We even had a chant, and throughout our games, whether we were winning or losing, losing being the more likely course, we would chant, “ ‘B’ Team All-Stars.” Everyone on the “B” team was an all-star. We would chant even louder when one of us got to play in an “A” team game because of injury or complete blow out scores. Our fellow “B” teamer would touch the court with his sneakers, and the chant would go on until he sat back on the bench. We were proud to be on the “B” team. We played because of a love for playing, not because we really cared if we won or not. We played because our coach lets us have fun, and not worry about some record that would disappear at the end of the season. We played out of love for the game, and felt the love of our coach and each other.

I am calling for a paradigm shift in our thinking of what it means to be successful in this life to one of a “B” team attitude. I propose that we can make this shift in three extremely hard steps. I know, you wanted them to be easy, but to grow nothing can be easy.

1. Level the playing field, and realize that everyone is a part of the “B” team. Some are just too proud, and unwilling to admit it.

2. Accept your offer to be on the “B” team, and be excited about the games that are ahead.

3. Love your “‘B’ Team All Star” coach and teammates.

The first step in the journey is leveling the playing field. We have to realize that no matter what the world tells us, we are all a part of the same team. We all come from the same mold, and return to the same maker for judgment of our lives. We all have sinned, and fall short of the glory of God, placing us securely on the roster of the “B” Team. This goes against what the world tells us. The world places some people on the “A” team because of wealth, fame or power. People place themselves on the “A” team out of pride, prejudice and hatred for others. Others place themselves closer to God because of education, illusion and false teachings. However, Jesus warns us that, “it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.” He goes on to say that, “many who are first will be last, and the last first." (Mark 10:25,31)

If God had a special place for the people who the world claims to be on the “A” Team, those would have been the people He chose to be the disciples of His Son. On the contrary, he picked what the world had cast off as the “B” Team to be the megaphones of His love on earth. Disciples were followers of a rabbi. They strived to mimic their rabbi’s whole way of life. Discipleships of rabbi’s were held for the Jewish boys who had outperformed all the others in school, and proven to be the best of the best, the “A” team, of the Jewish culture. Jesus could have pulled from this pool of individuals, but instead he went to the laborers, the nobodies, and the people who the Jewish culture would have gawked at if they were to ask to be a disciple of a rabbi. Jesus called out to the “B” Team, and they were asked to affect the course of history forever. He took the power out of the hands that society had chosen to lead, and leveled the playing field for every Jew or Gentile to be a part of His Kingdom. It is time to do the same in our society.

Next, we must accept the offer to join the “B” team. It seems like a simple choice when we think about the benefits, but it is so counter-cultural that our mind is outraged at the thought. In our society, we are hard wired to want to be on top, to be the winner, to be the supervisor, manager or boss. We teach our kids to be educated so they can rise to the top of the organizational ladder and receive the American dream of wealth and prosperity. We playfully talk about the dog-eat-dog world in which we live. Success comes by taming the bulls and bears or surviving the shark tank. We are inundated with this idea that it is okay to destroy others in our wake if we are headed to the top of our organizational hierarchy.

It reminds me of the word “ain’t.” In elementary school, when someone would use that word we would say, “Ain’t ain’t a word cus it ain’t in the dictionary so I ain’t gonna use it.” Well, people used the word so much that the wonderful folks at Merriam-Webster decided to add it to the dictionary and ruined the fun for millions of elementary kids. The purpose behind that story is to remind you that just because someone, or some society, has been saying something is right for so long that it becomes a societal norm does not mean it is right. I mean, check out Sodom and Gomorrah. Now don’t twist my words and think that I am saying capitalism is the same as sodomy, because that is not what I am saying. However, the way in which free market capitalism has manifested itself in our society does not represent the model of leadership that Jesus taught, and the model that is required to be an active part of the “B” team.

Jesus called us to be servant leaders. He called us to consistently put others needs before our own, and lower ourselves to complete humility. Hebrews 10:24-25 says: “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” What it does not say is, “find out what you can get from others, and take advantage of them to improve you own position.” In fact Jesus gave a very clear example of His method of leadership hours before his death as He was anxiously trying to share His final lessons with his disciples. John 13:2-15 says:

“The evening meal was being served, and the devil had already prompted Judas Iscariot, son of Simon, to betray Jesus. Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples' feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him.


He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, "Lord, are you going to wash my feet?"


Jesus replied, "You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand."


"No," said Peter, "you shall never wash my feet."


Jesus answered, "Unless I wash you, you have no part with me."


"Then, Lord," Simon Peter replied, "not just my feet but my hands and my head as well!"


Jesus answered, "A person who has had a bath needs only to wash his feet; his whole body is clean. And you are clean, though not every one of you." For he knew who was going to betray him, and that was why he said not everyone was clean.


When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. "Do you understand what I have done for you?" he asked them. "You call me 'Teacher' and 'Lord,' and rightly so, for that is what I am. Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you.”

How counter-cultural is that scene. Jesus is in full understanding that He has the power to do absolutely anything He wants. What would our capitalistic society tell us to do with that power? Would it tell us to ignore the possibilities of wealth and fame, and lower ourselves to the job of a servant? Not a chance. However, what would happen if we all began to realize that power is nothing without faith in God; That our excess wealth when we die will be like the excess manna that some Israelites hoarded in the dessert, full of maggots and wreaking of a horrible stench, but the good deeds we do for our sisters and brothers will be treasures waiting for us in heaven.

So, are you willing to join the “B” team? Are you ready to stop worshiping money, competition, and success, and start worship the God who has freed you from the slavery of that brokenness? If so, there is one command. Love God and love your teammates! Isn’t it crazy how it always comes back to love? Well maybe it seems redundant, but if I had to narrow the entire Bible down to one word it would be love. So, for me, the point cannot be made enough.

Who are your teammates? Mankind (See my previous post :-) )

Not everyone has accepted the offer to join the team, but whether they want to admit it or not they are already on the roster. No one is out of reach of God, and if you believe any different you do not believe in my God. No one can run too far for Him to reach out His hand. No one can deny Him enough for Him to stop asking for them to believe. No one can earn His love and no one can lose His love. A relationship with Him means a denial of the world. Jesus said that we are not of the world just as He is not of the world. We are in great danger when we begin to have faith in the systems of this world, and lose sight of the example God gave us through His Son.

So, here is your offer to join the “B” team. It is always your choice, but there is only one right decision.

“‘B’ Team All-Stars!”

It's a messed up world

Thank you to those who commented on my previous post. Unfortunately, it takes a large amount of effort that I don’t really have time for at the moment to work on that project. You may have to wait a long time to read more. So, for now you just have to deal with my normal ramblings.


Katie and I are in a small group at church that has shifted to reading a couple chapters of the Bible before we meet, and discussing the parts that stuck out to us in some way. We are starting with the book of Romans, and I think it is going to be a great time of growth and exploration of ideas and opinions about what God is saying through Paul. For our most recent session we read the first two chapters of Romans.

In recent history, I think that the first chapter of Romans has been used to justify judgment of some individuals in our society. We decide to pick and choose some ideas that Paul expresses, twist them into what fits our motives, and use them to degrade some individuals placing them further away from God than us in our minds and hearts.

Romans 1:18-28 is entitled God’s Wrath Against Mankind and I will paste it below:

The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of men who suppress the truth by their wickedness, since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse.


For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like mortal man and birds and animals and reptiles.


Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen.


Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion.


Furthermore, since they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, he gave them over to a depraved mind, to do what ought not to be done. They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; they are senseless, faithless, heartless, ruthless. Although they know God's righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them.

Recently there has been a tunnel vision for Christians to focus their attention on verses 24 through 27 in which Paul discusses God giving mankind over to what seems to be homosexuality. Whatever your interpretation of who God is condemning in this section makes absolutely no difference.

Why? Because the section is entitled God’s Wrath Against Mankind.

Mankind, as defined by Merriam-Webster, is “the human race: the totality of human beings.”

Our small group has not reached Romans 3:23 yet, but is says, “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” The upside down thinking involved in focusing on a certain group of individuals and claiming they have fallen further, or deserve God’s love and grace less, is revolting. We are all a part of mankind and we all are nothing without the grace of God through His son’s death on the cross. If we think there is a difference between us and someone who we hold up as being wholly more sinful than us, we blatantly ignore God’s word when it says that, “righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference (Romans 3:22).”

So if we are all sinners, what are we called to do? LOVE EACH OTHER!

When I first started this blog, I said that I would be looking for God in places that He might not be expected. Some of my friends and I use to get made fun of a lot for doing this in high school. We were in to indie music and movies, and would claim that there was a definite tie between these seemingly secular things and God. I think it is easy to fall into thinking that God wouldn’t want to be in those things, and if the person who created it didn’t mean for God to be there He isn’t. I think that idea is horribly wrong. God does not have boundaries. He does not need us to want Him to be there to show up, and He does His best work when He is found in places no one would expect Him. I mean, think about Jesus. Did the people find him in the temple hanging out with Rabbis? No, they found him on the streets and at parties, hanging out with the outcasts of society. So why couldn’t he show up in a song by Outkast today? I know, bad play on words, but I had to do it.

I got hooked on a show called Skins recently, and watched the first two seasons on Netflix. I originally was pulled into the show because I heard that it was where Dev Patel from Slumdog Millionaire was discovered. I don’t recommend the show for the easily offended, and please don’t think poorly of me if you watch it and do get offended. It is the BBC version the Gossip Girl or The Secret Life of an American Teenager without the censorship laws that we have in the US. For the most part, the storylines are outrageous and make me scared for Europe if it is a real representation of a teenager’s life in that culture. It is filled with a lot of drug use and unhealthy relationships, but at the same time it is a very raw picture of some of the pressures that teenagers today face.

In the first season, Dev Patel’s character, Anwar, is struggling with the cognitive dissonance between the doctrine of his Muslim religion, and the way he wants to live his life. A major issue in this chasm between his religious affiliation and his life is the fact that his best friend, Maxxie, is a homosexual. Desiring to be a good Muslim, and make his father proud, he begins to distance himself from his best friend, which causes a great deal of pain for them both. Anwar’s father, a devout Muslim, is constantly asking him why he has not seen Maxxie around lately, and pressures him to hold on to such a good friend. Anwar does not have the guts to share with his father why he is distancing himself, because he holds on to hope that he will be able to preserve his friendship and his religion. He fears that his father will make this impossible if he finds out his friend is a homosexual, due to the Muslim religions adamant denouncing of homosexuality.

In the season finale, Maxxie refuses to enter Anwar’s birthday party because of fear of what will happen when Anwar’s father finds out he is gay. It has come to a point where the friendship cannot last until it is out in the open. Anwar’s father comes outside with Anwar and sees Maxxie. He hugs him, and begins talking to him about all the food inside while Anwar interjects that Maxxie is gay. His father ignores the comment and continues talking until Maxxie interrupts with the same statement. The following is what Anwar’s father says to Maxxie:

“It’s an (expletive), stupid, messed up world. I’ve got my god. He speaks to me every day. Some things I just can’t work out, so I leave them be, okay, even if I think they are wrong, because I know one day he will make me understand. I’ve got that trust, it’s called belief. I’m a lucky man. Come Maxxie, the food is ready.”

I don’t cry too often at movies or television, but Anwar’s father’s words brought me to tears. Although his religion differs from mine, his concept of how to treat mankind is profoundly like my God wants from me. He loves Maxxie for who he is as an entire person, not for one thing that he thinks is wrong and does not understand. He loves Maxxie because he has faith that his god loves him enough to one day explain to him the things he does not understand. He opens his life to Maxxie and says he knows he is a sinner and still wants him at his dinner table. God’s message showed up in a raunchy BBC television show and shared a message that so many followers of Christ seem to be missing.

We are not commanded to judge, we are commanded to love. Jesus said that every law hangs on two commandments (Matthew 22:36-40):

1. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.

2. Love your neighbor as yourself.

There is no room for judgment in these two commandments. There is no room for hate or bigotry. There is only room for love. We are not called to place ourselves closer to God by degrading others. We are called to have the same grace that God’s has for us for all mankind, because we are all in the same messed up world. We are all unworthy of God’s presence, but he invites us to his dinner table anyway. Who are we to think that we have the right or ability to exclude any part of his creation from eating at that table? Who are we to accept God’s grace and divvy out judgment?

Like Anwar’s father said, have faith that God will one day bring clarity to the things you don’t understand. In the meantime, remember the gift you have received, and show your gratitude to God by loving His creation.

I need some motivation...please!

A while back I began writing about the experience of giving my father’s eulogy, and the experiences that led to that moment. I planned on it being a full length memoir of sorts about his faith journey intermingled with mine, and the places it crossed to lead to that day. I had a horrible time starting, and after writing only a little, I just put it to the side. I would like to post what I had written, and see what you all think. I am not begging for compliments, but looking for motivation to continue the process. Please leave any comments you have positive, negative or neutral. I would like to see if you responses spark a new drive in me to keep writing about those experiences.


Thanks!

I find myself in a storage closet. They claim it is the pastor’s study, but as my elbows bump into music stands, and I am forced to dodge and old worn out piano, I do not feel the comfort that a place of quiet mediation should bring upon its inhabitants. I pace back and forth in the cramped space trying to find my breath...my thoughts...my words. I sit down, stand up, pace some more. Minutes seem like days, and I am constantly reminded of my reason for being here. You cannot escape it in this place, it is not possible. The sounds, the smell, the frigid air, there is no mistaking where I am and why I am there.



Ever since I can remember, when my nerves are at their peak I have this unquenchable feeling that there is phlegm sticking to the back of my throat. I have a constant fear that I will open my mouth and not be able to speak because of the crippling concoction coming up from my lungs and into my throat. Every couple of minutes I leave the closet to search out a place where I can dislodge this mucus. As I walk through the halls, I avoid people’s eyes, but they have an inability to avoid me. Their words are everything but comforting. For the most part, they make me feel completely inadequate and only heighten my anxiety. By the time I reach the restroom it feels like my sinuses have completely drained, and are entirely blocking my esophagus. No matter how many times I try to spit I still feel the lingering remnants, and I still have the fear that when I open my mouth to speak nothing will come out.


Back in the closet I sit down at a small cushioned chair and open my bible. I thumb through the pages that I have marked, ensuring myself that they are the perfect verses for the occasion. I cautiously read over my notes to reassure myself that I will tread a line of strong emotional depth and evangelism without making anyone in the room feel uncomfortable being in the pew. I want people to know my heart. I want them to know that there is only one way to heaven, and only so much time to find the way. However, I also want them to feel like the God who became man to save them from death is approachable. They need a strong dose of hope with just a little fear to fuel the fire.


There is a small peep hole in the door leading out to the sanctuary. As I look out of this portal into my future, I can only see half of the room, and it is completely empty. I know the people who will fill this half of the room, some of them personally but most of them only by occupation. I also know why the seats are empty. This half of the room is not anxious to enter a place where there can only be real emotion. Walls can only stand for so long before those seats break them down. My older brother had found out this fact only a moment earlier as the emotions finally sank in as he sat in a pew on that side of the room and wept. This is the side of the room that I so desperately want to talk to, but right now I fell like when I open my mouth they will only hear silence, and the whimpering noise of a child calling out for his father.


The last time I remember crying out for my father was when I was only three years old. It had only been a couple months since we had moved from my birthplace of Macomb, Illinois to Clearwater, Florida. As a young child I was prone to rolling right off of my bed, and it stuck with me until the day I rolled out of a bunk bed. Pain can quickly correct habits. On a hot, humid night in Clearwater I rolled out of my bed on to the rock hard linoleum floor. Reeling in pain from the crash, I rolled underneath the bed and became paralyzed with fear in the darkness. I yelled out for my dad. I am sure that he thought it was something much more serious, because it was an extremely rare occasion that I would scream for him and not for my mom. In my mind, this situation seemed too scary for my mom, it was something only dad could handle. He stormed into the room, but couldn’t find me. I continued to yell in the darkness, and he echoed back my name until our game of Marco Polo led to him discovering my location and saving me from the shadows.


I am sure there were other times I called out for my father’s help, but in all honesty I cannot remember them. My dad was unapproachable for most of his life. The world had made him a rough, cold, emotionless machine. For most of my time with him I feared him, avoided him, or was disgusted by him. So I guess the question you may have is, what am I going to say when I walk through that door? Why am I the one who will stand at the podium? Why have I been chosen to perform my father’s funeral?

Soul Revival February

From Elijah’s answer to God’s question, he must have been feeling pretty lonely. Some of it was his own fault; I mean he is the one who left his servant behind (1 Kings 19:3). The other part of his loneliness was a misconception that he was the only Israelite left who had not bowed down to another god or been killed. I can’t imagine walking for forty days and nights just thinking about how lonely I was and how miserable my life had become. However, I can relate with Elijah in some ways. I often feel alone, and it is also my own fault. I am horrible at relationships. I would have asked my servant to stay behind too, mostly because I wouldn’t have wanted to try to think of what to talk to him about for forty days and nights.


Crazy enough, God has been challenging me in this area of my life recently as well. I told Katie that I was deeming this month “Soul Revival February.” I have been getting into my Bible, praying, reading Streams in the Dessert each day and digging into to the book Reaching Out, by Henri Nouwen. To say God has been changing the way I look at the relationships I have with the people around me is an understatement. He has been creating major shifts in thinking that have rattled my entire framework of interacting with people. He has been working to break down barriers to meaningful relationships that I have had in my mind longer than I can remember.

I am anti-social. I have never really been able to put my finger on why I am anti-social, but I know that I am. The awkwardness of meeting new people scares me like airplane bathrooms scare a person with claustrophobia. This fear comes from my desire to find some easy overlap between my life and the person I am meeting. When this overlap does not come easy, I lose all ability to relate.

Let me try to make this clearer than the thoughts in my head. I am not that in to sports, I don’t really like the outdoors all that much and, for all of you John Eldredge fans, I am not “wild at heart.” So, I fear conversations with men because according to Eldredge, and most of the church, I may be living in sin if I don’t want to climb mountains and kill animals. Without this immediate connection, I fear being unable to build a meaningful relationship.

For all of my life I have placed the blame for me being bad at making friends on everyone else. Nouwen said, “Hey Jordan, maybe you are the problem.” I said, “No way…but since it Soul Revival February I will hear you out.”

Reaching Out discusses three spiritual movements, but I have really seen the book so far as a guide to relationships. The first epiphany is that I have no right to expect anybody to be anybody but themselves. We claim to be a very individualistic society, but at the same time expect others to be very similar to ourselves. At least I do. When I find out they are different, I don’t know how to relate and I leave them behind like the servant. Nouwen says,

“We can strengthen each other by mutual respect, by careful consideration of each other’s individuality, by an obedient distance from each other’s privacy and by a reverent understanding of the sacredness of the human heart.”

Wow, so Nouwen is saying that the beauty of relationships is not the overlap of our lives. The beauty is in the differences, that vast space between us, that we must cross to be in relationships. That gap that I run from in fear is the space where God is present, and I have been avoiding it all my life. Try to imagine a sphere of water, like earth. On the sphere is a bunch of floating islands, all unique besides that fact that they are all floating in the same water. The water represents God’s presence and the islands represent us. In order to build relationship we have to cross this huge expanse of water that is frightening. There are crashing waves, and who-knows-what kind of creatures lurking in the deep waters, but when we reach the other island we understand ourselves, God and each other in ways that can change our lives.

When I can begin to see others as wholly separate from myself, but basking in the same presence of God, I can no longer run in fear. I have to run in faith towards God’s presence, and towards relationship with others. Elijah feared that he was the last person to be in the presence of God, but God showed him that there were still Israelites who were faithful to Him. The thing about Jesus is that His life abolished the fear of no one else being in His presence. Being in relationship with Him is no longer set aside for the Israelites, but is open to us all.

Being in relationship with others is so important to our walk with God. Nouwen asks the question, how would life have been different if the widow would have refused a relationship with Elijah (1 Kings 17:7-24)? I mean, no one would have faulted her. He probably looked like a scary homeless man, and he was asking for the last of her food and water. However, if she wouldn’t have entered that relationship in faith, her and her son may have starved to death, and even if they had survived, her son would have died from illness. How much easier should it be for me to enter in to a relationship with someone who I just feel like I wouldn’t relate to very well? How much easier should it be for me to have faith that God can do His best work through relationships with people who are completely different from me? There may be rough waters, people may still annoy me most of the time, but when we meet in the presence of God there is only room for growth.

Separation Anxiety

I want to talk about Elijah’s, for lack of a better term, separation anxiety.


As I was thinking about the idea of mountain top experiences, I came across a misconception in my head that was actually in my last post previous to editing. I didn’t know why I removed it, but it just didn’t seem to fit. Since deleting it, God has shown me, through the works of some great authors and alone time with Him, why I was lead to remove this misconception.

When I think of mountain top experiences, I think of highs and lows or ups and downs. I would say that most of us have a man made concept that God is above us. This is obviously true in a figurative sense, but not necessarily true in a physical sense. However, we see heaven as some place UP in the sky, and therefore see God as UP there as well. So, my natural inclination when I think of mountain top experiences is to think of those experiences in relationship to our closeness to God. When we are high on the mountain top we are close to God, and when we are in the valleys we are far from God. I now know that I am completely wrong in that assumption, but it gives some insight into Elijah’s story, and another way to see how it relates to our own lives, or at least mine.

Elijah must have felt that God had abandoned Him, at least for a second, because he was so fearful of Jezebel after he had just seen the amazing power of God. In this moment of perceived separation he felt completely alone, and feared that no one was present who would stand by him. So he ran away. He thought that because he was no longer on the mountain top, that God was no longer with him. This could not have been, and can never be, further from the truth.

For Christmas, I received a daily devotional called Streams in the Desert by Mrs. L.B. Cowan. Cowan took care of her ill husband for six years until his death and from her experiences came this devotional. The name of the book could not be more telling. In a time where I have been feeling like I am in a drought, her words are like mouthfuls of cold water. In the January 31st entry she writes,

“ ‘He giveth quietness’ – quietness even in the midst of losing our inner strength and comforts. Sometimes He removes these because we make too much of them. We are tempted to look at our joys, pleasures, passions, or our dreams, with too much satisfaction.”

In the middle of the valleys, as God feels far away, He is giving us an opportunity to lean in to Him. However, the other truth is that when we feel He is far away we are fooling ourselves. If we believe that difficult times are only products of separation from God, then we ignore the comfort of knowing He is never out of reach. 2 Corinthians 1:5 says: “For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows.” When I read a verse that uses the word suffering I think physical pain, and physical pain can definitely be a time of suffering. However, dealing with our brokenness bears suffering as well, when we know God but forget His love for us there is suffering. In that suffering comes an opportunity to look to God for comfort and grow closer to Him. Cowan combines scripture from Isaiah and 2 Thessalonians to create this image of what God is telling us:

“I ‘am a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering.’ I have allowed your earthly comforters to fail you so that by turning to me you may receive ‘eternal encouragement and good hope’”

God doesn’t ask questions to learn, He already knows the answers. When He asks questions it is too teach. You see this time and time again with Jesus’ ministry on earth, and you see this vividly in the story of Elijah at Mount Horeb. God did not ask Elijah why he was there because He didn’t know the answer. I think He was asking so that Elijah would hopefully hear how misguided his answer was. This idea that he had fought so hard, was the only one left standing and now would be sentenced to a horrible death as well could only come from an idea that God had left him alone. God gives Elijah a chance to rethink this thought by showing Him his amazing power, and then speaking to Him in a close and personal whisper. Elijah answers the question in the same pitiful way. God could have become frustrated and said, “Fine, you are alone. So, you can die in this cave or you can die by the sword of Jezebel. I have used you for what I need, and could care less about what happens to you now. You have had your mountain top experience, and now I need some space.” That is not our God. He cures his fears of loneliness and tells him the plans He has for him.

So, how does this relate to our lives? When we realize that God is not up, or down, or east, or west we will know that if we seek Him we will find Him. When we realize He is as present in the valleys as He is on the mountain tops, we can begin to listen for His whisper. When we get to a place where we feel alone, forsaken, and drowning in pride, we can ask ourselves what God asked Elijah: “Why are you here?” The true answer to that question will not come from ourselves. The true answer will come in seeing how God has been present in the journey to that point, and, in the personality of God, it may come in the form of another question: “Where should you be?”

"Why are you here?"

A week ago I shared one of my favorite Bible stories, and explained how the story led to the name of this blog. However, the part of the story the really solidifies its correlation to my life is the next chapter of the saga. 1 Kings 19: 1-18 tells the story of what happens directly after the excitement of God’s presence in Elijah’s life gave him the ability to the chase down the chariots of the King.


Ahab gets back to his kingdom and shares with his wife, Jezebel, all of what Elijah had done on Mount Carmel, including him putting to death all of the prophets of Baal. She is furious, and sends a messenger to tell Elijah that she will make sure he faces the same fate of the prophets of Baal by that time the next day.

Before we look at how Elijah reacts to this message, let us remember all that God has done to ensure his well being up until now. During a drought of over three years, he has been fed by ravens and by a widow whose dwindling supplies of food continue to miraculously multiply. In order to stay in the widow’s good graces, God answers his prayer to bring the widow’s son back from the dead. God then brought Elijah out of the desert and showed his power to all of Israel by raining fire from the sky, and then ending the drought as Elijah had prophesied. So, you would suppose that Elijah’s confidence in God would be pretty strong at this point. He would probably mock Jezebel like he mocked the prophets of Baal, and ignore her threats because he knew God would protect him.

Elijah was afraid, and ran.

He wasn’t running to shout God’s wonder to the world this time. He was running from the idea that his calling from God would lead to his death by the hand of an evil Queen. He wasn’t running because of joy, he was running because of fear.

Elijah left his servant in Beersheba and walked into the desert for a day. He sat under a tree, prayed for the God who had saved him over and over again to take his life, and then he fell asleep. All of a sudden, and angel touches him and tells him to get up and eat. By his head was bread and water. He ate, drank and then fell back to sleep. The angel woke him up again and told him to eat and drink again because the journey was too much for him. This time, after he ate he traveled for 40 days and nights to Horeb, the Mountain of God, where he went into a cave and spent the night.

God said: “What are you doing here, Elijah?”

He tells God how passionate he has been while the rest of the Israelites had broken their covenant with God, broken down the altars to Him, and killed all of His prophets. He says he is the only one left, and now they are trying to kill him.

God tells Elijah to go stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord because the Lord is about to pass by.

A great wind rips through the mountain shattering rocks in its path, but the Lord is not present in the wind.

An earthquake rocks the foundation of the mountain, but the Lord is not present in the earthquake.

A fire burns the face of the mountain, but the Lord is not in the fire.

Then came a gentle whisper.

When Eli heard the whisper, he hid his face with his cloak and went to the mouth of the cave.

The gentle voice of God said: “What are you doing here, Elijah?”

Elijah responds in the exact same way as he did the first time God asked, but this time God tells him how wrong he is. He tells him of four men who will put to death every Israelite who has turned from Him upon Elijah’s anointing, and of seven thousand Israelites who had not bowed down or kissed the false god, Baal.

I am struggling with which direction to go in my initial post about this section of Elijah’s story. There are so many parallels to my life and the lives of many Christian’s I know. In order to not make this post a book I am going to focus on one portion of the story that grabs my attention. However, be prepared for me to come back to this story over and over as I search for God in the world around me and share my findings with whoever is out there reading this blog.

I want to focus on the question God asks Elijah: “What are you doing here?”

Two precursors:

1. It is very easy to look at Elijah, the disciples, or other people in our lives and say, “I can’t believe they didn’t realize how much God had protected them and ran in fear at the first sign of trouble.” I want to challenge you to use the examples of others to examine your own decisions to run in fear instead of running because of the joy that God is with you.

2. If you are still hung up on this being an Old Testament story and feel like God isn’t as attainable as He is to Elijah, I challenge you to read my mom’s e-mail in this previous post and try to argue with me about whether God still shows up in our lives today.

So, “What are you doing here?”

First of all, I think we can agree that God was not asking about why Elijah was at the physical place of a cave in the side of Mount Horeb. I am assuming that although the Bible does not say that the angel gave Elijah specific instructions, that he was led by God to the cave in Mount Horeb.

I believe God is asking Elijah why he is at a place in his life where he feels like he no longer wants to live. After God has brought him through trial after trial, and showed himself to him in ways that are indescribably magnificent, how could he not want to live to chase the chariots he had once passed on the way to Jezreel? This may make you feel awkward when you see me next, but I have been exactly where Elijah was, and God asked me the same question. “What are you doing here?” Much like Elijah, my answers were selfish and wrong. It is easy for us to praise God in the times where we feel close to Him, when we see him so clearly working like he has been in my mom’s life, or in times where he is carrying us through marathons or the deaths of people closest to us. However, it is just as easy to be distracted by the temptations of this word and begin running away in fear.

C.S. Lewis, although most well known for the Chronicles of Narnia series, has written a large library of non-fiction and fiction works. Some of my favorite works of his are his space trilogy. The second book of the series, Perelandra, tells the story of Elwin Ransom who is sent to Perelandra, where a new Garden of Eden and a new Adam and Eve have been created. He is given the mission of stopping the serpentesque human physicist Professor Weston, who has been sent to corrupt the Eve figure. In one of the most powerful scenes, Weston, who does not require sleep, is attempting to wear Ransom down by constantly repeating his name in the night.

Weston: Ransom……Ransom……Ransom

Ransom: What?

Weston: Nothing…..Ransom…..Ransom…….Ransom

All night long

In the middle of the night, while Weston is constantly mocking his name, Ransom prays: “Father, what must I do?”

This is a picture of our lives. Satan, or the world, or society, which ever you feel comfortable saying at this point, is calling out to us constantly. They are asking us to remove our attention from God and float off into the loneliness and fear that comes from a separation from Him.

The answer is not to run in fear; it is to remember the joy of being close to God and turn to Him for help. Turn to the God who has shown His love to us over and over again and ask, “Father, what must I do?”

After I received the call from my mom about my father dying I called my brother. I remember him asking me, “What are we were supposed to do?” I told him we have two choices, but only one is an option. We can turn towards Him, or we can turn away from Him. If you read my mom’s words and were in awe at her strength, please realize that her strength comes from our family’s decision to run towards God in joy instead of running away from Him in fear. Remember the words of Jesus in Luke 11:9-10: “So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.”